Thursday, March 10, 2011

All The Dirty Little Secrets

I am the root of all evil to a few people.
I'm too fucking vain to pass up a photo opportunity.
I'm obsessed with labels.
I can be a huge drama queen at times.
I'm defensive.
I don't like leaving the house without looking in a mirror.
I cry very easily.
I've hurt a lot of people.
I'm posessive of my friends.
I'm possessive of my girlfriend.
I'm allergic to avacados, but still eat them anyway.
I have attempted suicide eight times: Hanging twice, asphyxiation once, and overdose with various samples of my grandmother's prescriptions five times.
I love to dance in front of my mirror.
I have a facebook that I'm always updating. I have 134 friends.
I'm terrified of the dark.
I was molested at age three through four by my older half-brother. To this day, the only people who know are my closest friends.
I still wonder whether or not I'm a virgin.
I am an atheist.
I will get drunk in my own home when no one's around.
There are faint scars on my legs from cutting myself.
I plan for children in my future. I always have.
I have major problems with people who don't make an effort to make themselves look nice.
I have stalked my ex-boyfriend over facebook.
I am constantly looking for new ways to make myself look better.
I'm afraid to care about myself.
I have had ulcers in my stomach from stress levels four times in the last year.
I haven't cried about my grandma since the day of her death.
The word "Cunt" makes me physically sick.
My first kiss was Davy Rogers in fourth grade.
I find pleasure in the fact that I have caught people checking me out.
I am the definition of the word "pervert".
I watch porn.
I like both boys and girls.
I am very loud.
I put my opinions where they're not wanted.
I don't truly trust anyone. Not even my sister or my girlfriend.
I have talked about people behind their back.
Today I faked being sick so I could stay in the nurse's office and cry for the second half of the day.
Right now I am a major part in four court cases.
I am embarrassed by my mother's alcoholism.
I'm a coward.
I'm a bitch.
I'm an asshole.
I want to try marijuana.
Someday I plan to choreograph a burlesque show to the tune of Clare De Lune.
I sleep in my underwear.
There are five people in this world that I "Hate" and they are all politicians.
I have made snow-angels in the nude.
I have gone streaking through my neighborhood in the moonlight.
I love to skinny-dip.
I fish for compliments sometimes.
Every day I have to convince myself to get out of bed.
I have been anorexic and bulimic.
I have shoplifted from thrift stores.
I have flirted my way into hundreds of dollars of free merchandise.
I have never worn a push-up bra.
There are small scars on my breasts I don't know the origins of.
I have always wanted to dress like a whore. Just once.
There are seven holes in the walls of my house due to my rage.
I have heard voices in my head.
I draw hentai and keep it hidden in my room.
I don't know who my real friends are anymore.
I am very temperamental.
I have been dragged across a room by my hair by my father.
I have never had the time to be a true teenager.
90% of my smiles are fake.
I pretend to be happy so that people don't worry about me.
However, that usually backfires.
I can't remember half of my childhood.
There is a wall in my room where I put up everything on paper my friends have ever given me, from notes to scribbles to doodles to masterpieces.
My life story always ends with me crying.
I have gotten into fights that have involved my sister bashing my head into a wall until I lost consciousness.
I'm very wary of love.
There is nothing permanent in this world. Not even life.
I am terrified of other peoples' opinions of me.
I am transferring to Bayview for my senior year of high school for more reasons than just grades.
There are jars of money hidden in my room that I'm saving for a road trip with.
I have stopped four friends from committing suicide.
I don't like talking about myself verbally.
I don't like hearing that I'm nice.
I don't like hearing praise for fear of being seen as only caring about myself.
I was nearly raped seven months ago.
I find trusting people very hard.
I have been cheated on by the same guy four times, and each time was stupid enough to go back to him.
I broke up with my girlfriend last year because of the Seven Month Itch.
I only have one pair of pants.
I have a backpack filled with clothes, road maps and one hundred dollars should the nerve strike me to get up and leave.
My father has offered me vodka.
In third grade I was ground zero for the biggest lice epidemic my school district had ever seen.
I have a picture of Kisame taped to my ceiling. He is the only picture there.
I have been beaten up.
I have beaten the shit out of someone.
In October I had a nervous breakdown.
Because of that nervous breakdown I'm now in therapy, soon to be paired with medication.
I may be schizophrenic.
I have big feet.
I shave the hair off my toes and stomach.
I have carved religious symbols into the antique dresser passed down through my family.
There is a razor blade hidden in my desk.
I don't think I could survive without my dog.
I have burned myself on purpose.
I can't stop trying to improve myself for other people's needs and not my own.
There are times when I say things and automatically wish I hadn't.
I wish I were never born.
When I lived in Portland, three bullies would make me eat flowers and bugs in the school garden.
There are times when I don't recognize myself.
I have written suicide notes, then ripped them up because I knew no one would care enough to read them.

Post a bad secret in a comment.